Hey I'm back at home. In Serdang.
You know, I expected to spend some time with my family. But, it just didn't happen. My family is busy with their own chores. Everyone has lots of things to do. It doesn't make any difference whether I'm back home or not. Feels more at home in Tanjung Malim.
I'm thinking about going back to Tanjung Malim. There's nothing to do at home. I'll be surfing the internet all day long. My friends are not free. So it's like no point coming home.
In dilemma now.
I'll be bringing my friends to Pulau Ketam tomorrow. I'll take it as a pre-trip to scout around for this Friday's actual trip. Will be bringing another bunch of people there on Friday. After the pre-trip, I'm not sure whether I should just take a train and shoot straight to Tanjung Malim, or head to Serdang.
Monday, November 7, 2011
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Over.. It's holiday now!
Today's Sunday and it's church day. Also Raya Haji day. After church, I only took a nap. It had not been a productive day.
However, I'm a little comforted, perhaps excited that I'm finally going back home tomorrow! No... not that I miss home. I just thought that I should go back home to spend some time with my parents. They're cool people and I love them!
However, I'm a little comforted, perhaps excited that I'm finally going back home tomorrow! No... not that I miss home. I just thought that I should go back home to spend some time with my parents. They're cool people and I love them!
Also, I may want to catch up with the hustle and bustle of the metropolitan Kuala Lumpur again. Kind of miss the air pollution and the noise. It's just so.. KL!
Saturday, November 5, 2011
It's about faith and endurance
This morning, I went to Batang Kali and Serendah towns to distribute tracts with some friends. As usual, these Chinese settlements have lots of dogs, be it wild or domestic, and that is the only difference. What I mean was that these dogs are all fierce, regardless whether they are reared of not.
There was this house with the gate wide open. The moment I stepped in, 3 dogs came and barked at me. Thank God that I had two dogs at home and I kind of know their behaviour. Running away will surely be a wonderful disaster, so I slowly walked in and whistled. Slowly, the dogs retreated and sat aside, as if they are welcoming a guest. Finally, I succeeded giving a tract to the house by putting it on the grill door. Without faith and endurance, I would have easily quit.
Isn't it the same for relationships? I think there's something strange between my friend and I. We were not close as we used to be. Perhaps it's my fault. Perhaps there's nothing but an inaccurate intuition. Whatever it is, it takes courage and trust between us and faith in God to keep this friendship.
Friday, November 4, 2011
Just another day
I wouldn't want to talk much about today.
I had only 2 hours of lecture this morning. We got back our Inorganic Chemistry quiz paper. Cut the long story short, I obtained a perfect score. The paper was very easy actually. But the best thing is, this score made my confidence leaped. Awesome, isn't it?
I had only 2 hours of lecture this morning. We got back our Inorganic Chemistry quiz paper. Cut the long story short, I obtained a perfect score. The paper was very easy actually. But the best thing is, this score made my confidence leaped. Awesome, isn't it?
Going to watch another episode of Lost later. Room mate was ill. Hope he gets better.
Thursday, November 3, 2011
What title shall I put here?
I don't know what to say about today. Definitely it's not a pleasant day. But I believe I am the one who controls what I feel, not other people.
My day started with a room mate who was not having an 8 a.m. class doing his laundry in the bathroom. He refused to use the washing machine because hand washing is cleaner, said he. I had lab at 8, but he wasn't even bathing. All he did was to wash his clothes and it he took so much time. I was almost late. Only about 20 minutes before 8, he came out. After washing up, he was sitting on my way. To save time, I threw my clothes across the room to the table and I left the room hastily. I bet he didn't know or didn't care about it. He was only concerned about his assignment.
I was so angry when I left home. Why is he such an inhibitor? Can't he be an enzyme? Only much later, I heard a still, small voice. I quickly said a prayer to ask for forgiveness for having such anger, and in my heart, I forgave him.
After that, it was EC. We had a test. Let's go straight to the result. I got 7.5 out of 10. Many other people got 8 or 8.5. I wasn't happy. How can they even get that mark? I'm obtained Band 5 in MUET and what are theirs? Some of them barely got a Band 3. Ok I know I sound like a puffed up guy, I'm proud, I'm cocky, but still, who would believe that a Band 5 guy gets a lower mark than those who can't even speak proper English?! But then, I have to learn to be humble.
My day started with a room mate who was not having an 8 a.m. class doing his laundry in the bathroom. He refused to use the washing machine because hand washing is cleaner, said he. I had lab at 8, but he wasn't even bathing. All he did was to wash his clothes and it he took so much time. I was almost late. Only about 20 minutes before 8, he came out. After washing up, he was sitting on my way. To save time, I threw my clothes across the room to the table and I left the room hastily. I bet he didn't know or didn't care about it. He was only concerned about his assignment.
I was so angry when I left home. Why is he such an inhibitor? Can't he be an enzyme? Only much later, I heard a still, small voice. I quickly said a prayer to ask for forgiveness for having such anger, and in my heart, I forgave him.
After that, it was EC. We had a test. Let's go straight to the result. I got 7.5 out of 10. Many other people got 8 or 8.5. I wasn't happy. How can they even get that mark? I'm obtained Band 5 in MUET and what are theirs? Some of them barely got a Band 3. Ok I know I sound like a puffed up guy, I'm proud, I'm cocky, but still, who would believe that a Band 5 guy gets a lower mark than those who can't even speak proper English?! But then, I have to learn to be humble.
Actually I felt worse during lunch. First, it rained and I was almost soaked. Then flies and cats are disturbing me when I was eating. Later, my friends came and one of them was my room mate. Another room mate. I asked what he got for EC since he took the same test days ago. He got 8.5. What the hell?! I mean, WHAT THE HELL! Few weeks ago, he was praised for presented his assignment well in class. I was given a rather discouraging remark. And now he got a higher mark than I. Can I say a bad word now?
This same guy spoiled my day again. Early in the morning, he boiled some noodles and left it on the table. I thought he might have cooked some for me, too, but since I was rushing for lab, I didn't ask and I only text him to ask if some of it was for me. He replied, saying that it was for those in the house who wanted to eat. Then I told him that very likely it will be untouched, since he didn't inform the household. True enough.
Later, I thought of keeping that for dinner so as not to waste food. I even text him again to tell him not to throw and I want to have it for dinner. He said he didn't want it as it may spoil, but I assured him that fermentation won't happen so fast. After discussion with a friend outside, I came back home. And guess what? Bingo! He disposed them. Awesome friend. He could be thinking that I should not risk my stomach with it, but hello... the noodle wasn't even wet with sauces or what. Should I give him a medal for being kind? Whatever. Had to have my dinner outside. Alone.
Sometimes I think, am I not entitled to my feelings? If I show that I'm upset, congratz! I just became an unpopular guy. Everyone hates me. If I remain my smile after some brainless fella offended me, he thinks that I can be messed with. And I constantly need someone to be with me. Is that wrong? Is that too much?
This same guy spoiled my day again. Early in the morning, he boiled some noodles and left it on the table. I thought he might have cooked some for me, too, but since I was rushing for lab, I didn't ask and I only text him to ask if some of it was for me. He replied, saying that it was for those in the house who wanted to eat. Then I told him that very likely it will be untouched, since he didn't inform the household. True enough.
Later, I thought of keeping that for dinner so as not to waste food. I even text him again to tell him not to throw and I want to have it for dinner. He said he didn't want it as it may spoil, but I assured him that fermentation won't happen so fast. After discussion with a friend outside, I came back home. And guess what? Bingo! He disposed them. Awesome friend. He could be thinking that I should not risk my stomach with it, but hello... the noodle wasn't even wet with sauces or what. Should I give him a medal for being kind? Whatever. Had to have my dinner outside. Alone.
Sometimes I think, am I not entitled to my feelings? If I show that I'm upset, congratz! I just became an unpopular guy. Everyone hates me. If I remain my smile after some brainless fella offended me, he thinks that I can be messed with. And I constantly need someone to be with me. Is that wrong? Is that too much?
Lesson for today? Forgiveness. Humility. Love anyway.
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Being Tested
Today is the day where my knowledge on what I'd learnt the past 7 weeks is tested.
The first test was Japanese Language. We were told to master Hiragana writings because that is what we will face on our test papers. Okay it wasn't too difficult. I admit that it's kind of hard to memorise all the Hiragana letters which do not have any relations to the languages I knew. Fortunately, the test was in the objective form. The best of all was, some answers at the back actually complimented the questions in front. Hiragana identifcation became so easy.
Good things won't last long, anyway. At night, it was Biology test. I didn't manage to study much. They just didn't want to get into my brain. And it was tough. Half of the marks belonged to the essay which I barely had an idea of it. Wow... great....
Never mind. Looks like I have to put in a lot more effort in my studies.
The first test was Japanese Language. We were told to master Hiragana writings because that is what we will face on our test papers. Okay it wasn't too difficult. I admit that it's kind of hard to memorise all the Hiragana letters which do not have any relations to the languages I knew. Fortunately, the test was in the objective form. The best of all was, some answers at the back actually complimented the questions in front. Hiragana identifcation became so easy.
Good things won't last long, anyway. At night, it was Biology test. I didn't manage to study much. They just didn't want to get into my brain. And it was tough. Half of the marks belonged to the essay which I barely had an idea of it. Wow... great....
Never mind. Looks like I have to put in a lot more effort in my studies.
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Perfectionist
I always wanted to be the best of the best since young. To be specific, my kindergarten days. When I was merely four years old, I started looking at the mirror and thought that I didn't look as good as my older brother. He was just so much more handsome than I.
I didn't allow any imperfection to happen to me. If this happened to someone, I'll make sure I won't follow his footsteps. I'll jolly well make sure that I'm the best and I have the best.
I didn't allow any imperfection to happen to me. If this happened to someone, I'll make sure I won't follow his footsteps. I'll jolly well make sure that I'm the best and I have the best.
Ironically, the more I deliberately be a perfect person, the more imperfect I become. I wanted to score well in my exams and top the class. I couldn't. Someone beat me along the way. And as time went, I lost again and again. Somehow there will be people who could beat me.
Now, I wouldn't dare to ask for more. I know I will never reach that standard. I only strive to be a good friend to anyone. I'm a good listener. I try to stand in their shoes. I even availed myself previously to be 24-hours standing by. Anyone who even texts me in the middle of the night will be given a prompt reply.
Yet it is a total bummer if I were to expect for a friend like that. Who would be so foolish to get up in an ungodly hour to reply text messages? Nevertheless, I still wish for a friend like that, whom I can have heart-to-heart conversations, a warm embrace when either one of us is down, a pat on the back to encourage each other, share similar passions... There's none like that here in this varsity.
I have this jealousy and anger when the good I showed is not returned. It has been very often as this friend of mine is not sensitive to people's feelings. You could even say that he's one selfish guy. Sometimes I was so heartbroken that I gave a dirty face to everyone, like girls when they are having their difficult time of the month. But who am I to judge him? What if something in the past caused him to be like this? It's very difficult to love someone like this. And often I blame myself for not being perfect, that is why I'm somehow disliked, or hated.
It's ok. The French says "de rien", which means it's nothing. I shall continue to love this unlovable person anyway, at the same time, improve my weaknesses.
Now, I wouldn't dare to ask for more. I know I will never reach that standard. I only strive to be a good friend to anyone. I'm a good listener. I try to stand in their shoes. I even availed myself previously to be 24-hours standing by. Anyone who even texts me in the middle of the night will be given a prompt reply.
Yet it is a total bummer if I were to expect for a friend like that. Who would be so foolish to get up in an ungodly hour to reply text messages? Nevertheless, I still wish for a friend like that, whom I can have heart-to-heart conversations, a warm embrace when either one of us is down, a pat on the back to encourage each other, share similar passions... There's none like that here in this varsity.
I have this jealousy and anger when the good I showed is not returned. It has been very often as this friend of mine is not sensitive to people's feelings. You could even say that he's one selfish guy. Sometimes I was so heartbroken that I gave a dirty face to everyone, like girls when they are having their difficult time of the month. But who am I to judge him? What if something in the past caused him to be like this? It's very difficult to love someone like this. And often I blame myself for not being perfect, that is why I'm somehow disliked, or hated.
It's ok. The French says "de rien", which means it's nothing. I shall continue to love this unlovable person anyway, at the same time, improve my weaknesses.
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