Did I just ate lotus?

It's Sunday and for Christians like me, it's church day. My room mates and I attend different churches in Tanjung Malim. They had to leave earlier. After they had left, I had some time to laze on bed.

I didn't feel like going to church actually. I don't know why, I felt very troubled at heart. Anyway,I dragged myself there. Even during service, I texted another former classmate to talk to him about my problems. Should not have done that. And I felt miserable throughout the service.

The whole evening was kind of wasted too. Initially I planned to visit the library to do some reference. I chose to nap instead. And how I wished I do not have to wake up.

Am I tired? Physically? Emotionally and mentally? I just don't know. Perhaps I'm being haunted by my past. The foolish things that I'd done and the consequences that are still felt today. Too tired to even think of them.

Today's happening reminds me of the short story I learnt back in Fourth Form -- The Lotus Eater. A lotus eater means to live an idle life. Am I living today like that?