Slowly, but steadily, I'm discovering my own personality. It's not a pleasant thing to do, honestly, as I slowly find out the ugliness within me. My thoughts, my acts, my behaviour. perhaps I'm too much of a perfectionist.
I always strife to be the best even at the tender age of 4. I could not tolerate any imperfection. I could not allow myself being punished and I thought those who were being punished are bad people. I was good, so I should never be punished.
I guess God didn't allow that. The more I want to be perfect, the more imperfect I become. The more I strife to be good, I get into troubles which I intended not to get into. Funny, eh? Think it's God's of of humbling me.
I'm still very unclear how will my personality be shaped into. Seeing my peers doing well in their respective areas, I sometimes blame myself for not being focused. I took lots of unnecessary actions. As a result, I'm not the respectable, favourable man as I dreamed to be. Ahh, forget it... I'm awesome as I am now.
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