Oh...

No joke. Today, there were light showers a few times and heavy downpours. I cannot even hang and dry my clothes which I washed yesterday night.

Anyway, it's a public holiday today, and our church had visitation from the university students in Kampar. We had so much fun together. After that, we had lunch. Everything was wonderful until evening. I mean, it wasn't because of the Kampar students. They left after lunch. What I mean is when my room mate is back from his hometown.

I don't know how to explain. It's so weird. When he's back, my heart felt heavy. I was very unhappy. No... I don't hate him. I'm not angry at him. But it's just weird. I felt much happier without him around. As if I'm in control. But then, I'm not competing for name and fame with him. I don't know. But good that I can control my emotions and not letting it out. Just rationalise

and analyse the reason I had those feelings.

Luckily, a TESL friend invited me for dinner. Met some other friends and we sat together. My mood turned better. I guess I'm friend-dependant. It's not good because it shows that I'm insecure. Whatever it is, I hope that I won't give up and give in to the bleak moments in life. It's not as bad as I see.