Thursday, November 3, 2011

What title shall I put here?

I don't know what to say about today. Definitely it's not a pleasant day. But I believe I am the one who controls what I feel, not other people.

My day started with a room mate who was not having an 8 a.m. class doing his laundry in the bathroom. He refused to use the washing machine because hand washing is cleaner, said he. I had lab at 8, but he wasn't even bathing. All he did was to wash his clothes and it he took so much time. I was almost late. Only about 20 minutes before 8, he came out. After washing up, he was sitting on my way. To save time, I threw my clothes across the room to the table and I left the room hastily. I bet he didn't know or didn't care about it. He was only concerned about his assignment.

I was so angry when I left home. Why is he such an inhibitor? Can't he be an enzyme? Only much later, I heard a still, small voice. I quickly said a prayer to ask for forgiveness for having such anger, and in my heart, I forgave him.

After that, it was EC. We had a test. Let's go straight to the result. I got 7.5 out of 10. Many other people got 8 or 8.5. I wasn't happy. How can they even get that mark? I'm obtained Band 5 in MUET and what are theirs? Some of them barely got a Band 3. Ok I know I sound like a puffed up guy, I'm proud, I'm cocky, but still, who would believe that a Band 5 guy gets a lower mark than those who can't even speak proper English?! But then, I have to learn to be humble.

Actually I felt worse during lunch. First, it rained and I was almost soaked. Then flies and cats are disturbing me when I was eating. Later, my friends came and one of them was my room mate. Another room mate. I asked what he got for EC since he took the same test days ago. He got 8.5. What the hell?! I mean, WHAT THE HELL! Few weeks ago, he was praised for presented his assignment well in class. I was given a rather discouraging remark. And now he got a higher mark than I. Can I say a bad word now?

This same guy spoiled my day again. Early in the morning, he boiled some noodles and left it on the table. I thought he might have cooked some for me, too, but since I was rushing for lab, I didn't ask and I only text him to ask if some of it was for me. He replied, saying that it was for those in the house who wanted to eat. Then I told him that very likely it will be untouched, since he didn't inform the household. True enough.

Later, I thought of keeping that for dinner so as not to waste food. I even text him again to tell him not to throw and I want to have it for dinner. He said he didn't want it as it may spoil, but I assured him that fermentation won't happen so fast. After discussion with a friend outside, I came back home. And guess what? Bingo! He disposed them. Awesome friend. He could be thinking that I should not risk my stomach with it, but hello... the noodle wasn't even wet with sauces or what. Should I give him a medal for being kind? Whatever. Had to have my dinner outside. Alone.

Sometimes I think, am I not entitled to my feelings? If I show that I'm upset, congratz! I just became an unpopular guy. Everyone hates me. If I remain my smile after some brainless fella offended me, he thinks that I can be messed with. And I constantly need someone to be with me. Is that wrong? Is that too much?

Lesson for today? Forgiveness. Humility. Love anyway.

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